Over the last few weeks I have talked a lot on my social channels about the benefits of having a closet that works with you, not against you. One that reflects who you are right now, thereby enabling you to get dressed with ease and move through your day with confidence. I have shared some stories about the recent closet edits I have worked on with clients, always with the aim of providing you with valuable insights into the process and the resulting beneficial outcomes.
Nonetheless I know that for many of you a closet decluttering session is associated with anxiety and stress. Guess what? That’s not unexpected! This blog post aims to identify the perceived challenges, reframe them and help you view closet decluttering as a positive experience, an exercise in simplifying and making your life easier!
If you want to improve your life immediately, clean out a closet. Often it’s what we hold onto that holds us back.
Cheryl Richardson
Trust me when I say that decluttering a closet can be one of the most liberating things you can do for yourself, enabling you to:
- feel positive and more relaxed when you see only clothing that you truly love to wear;
- feel less stressed and frustrated about your daily dressing routine;
- feel more confident and actually excited in putting outfits together;
- feel more in control of your image and your personal brand;
- feel more real as you confidently discover and express your new image;
- save time and your hard earned money.
So why is it then, that the initial reaction to the very thought of undergoing a closet decluttering session often tends to be one of reluctance, embarrassment, shame, nervousness or apprehension?
It is most likely linked to the fact that your closet houses not only your clothes, but also your emotions, memories, judgements and aspirations.
You’re grappling with the whole notion of allowing someone else into an extremely private space that reflects not only how you present yourself to the world, but also provides a direct look into how you view yourself, your shopping history and potentially your hoarding habits!
You’re also trying to reconcile with the fact that you are potentially getting rid of some items that you’ve had for a long time, spent a lot of money on, aspirational brands that you value and items that you are emotionally attached to. Most of the negative thoughts that initially come to your mind are fear-based.
Let’s confront these anxieties and reframe them!
One of the key things to keep top of mind is this: a closet decluttering session is as much about getting clarity, as it is about purging – clarity about who you are and what you want to portray, clarity on what is needed to create and maintain your future image, clarity around your shopping behaviour and getting clear on how to form effective and efficient habits moving forward.
1. Reluctance to having someone else go through your stuff
This is a normal feeling and is totally understandable. When working with clients I encourage them to see the process as a new beginning focused on the future, building a refreshed image and breaking old habit cycles of impulse and repeat-buying. My role is to be that objective outsider (one who has been professionally trained in closet editing) who is going to give you an honest opinion on what works and what doesn’t work – all done in a non-judgemental way. It is not my job to judge you. It is not my job to be critical of your past style choices. It is my job to help you stay focused on the task in hand, set the intention, visualize the future you. It is my job to understand where you’ve been, why you have style challenges and provide guidance on where you’re going. It is my job to be practical and remind you of the image you are striving for, what items are aligned with your style personality, what works for your body shape, what colours are most suitable for your complexion, what fits with your lifestyle. No judgement, just forward momentum.
2. Fear that you’ll be left with no clothes in your closet
This is a very common fear but trust me when I say it would never happen! The process isn’t quite so dramatic. Think of it as ‘pruning’ the contents of your closet. By purging items that don’t work, identifying the gaps and filling them with a few extra pieces, you will most likely end up having fewer clothes but more outfits than ever! What’s more, if you’re like the average person you’re probably only utilizing 20% of your closet to build outfits right now anyway, so the likelihood that purging a lot of items would leave you with nothing to wear, is hardly realistic. The quantity of items you end up purging is totally up to you. I provide the style tools and decluttering framework, you still make all the decisions. Additionally, one of the key outputs of the decluttering session is a ‘shopping plan’, a list of items required to fill gaps in your closet. Generally speaking the shopping trip takes place almost immediately after the closet session. So even if you are left with a very select number of outfits at hand, it will unlikely be for a prolonged period. Let go of what is no longer needed, to make room for what is needed!
3. Fear that you will have to get rid of items you love
I will only ever suggest that you let go of something if it is of no use to you at all. I provide a framework of consideration for you to apply against each and every item of clothing. If you truly love an item and we agree that it works for your style profile, we don’t get rid of it! If something isn’t 100% perfect but can still work with a little creativity, we don’t get rid of it. If an item needs replacing, we ensure we prioritize this on our shopping plan and restock your closet with the new replacement at the earliest opportunity. If you love an item but sadly it doesn’t fit the criteria for your new image, dig deep and truly ask yourself how it will contribute to looking and feeling amazing as the future you. Sometimes it takes a little tough love to bust through these obstacles but it’s important not to lose sight of the fact that everything that stays in your closet needs to be aligned with the image you wish to portray. Keeping ‘unwearable’ clothes is an exercise in deluding yourself and it will only serve to add to the overwhelm and confusion you face when choosing outfits and finding items that are wearable.
4. Fear of losing special memories
This can be a big fear particularly as it relates to those items you have strong sentimental ties to – items that remind you of when you were young and carefree/ expecting your first baby/ in a job that you loved/ falling in love with your partner. Remember this is an exercise in only keeping clothes that make you look and feel amazing (not constantly taking trips down memory lane when you open your closet). Ultimately you make the call on any items that you have strong emotional ties to but remember your memories are in your head, not in your stuff! Items that are so special in the first place, should not be housed in the back of your everyday working wardrobe. They either need to be stored separately or in other creative ways that allow you to keep small reminders – such as taking a picture, scrapbooking or framing a swatch of the fabric.
5. Reluctance to part with your ‘what if’ clothes
Your closet should be a reflection of who you are right now. Dress for the person you are today. Not the old you, not the ‘what if’ you. For any clothes related to a former lifestyle, a different size – if they’re not working for you right now, they shouldn’t still be in your closet. Store them elsewhere, but be very selective about the quantity of items you chose to keep in storage. The bottom line is that you will benefit from not seeing the constant reminders in your closet each and every time you open the doors.
6. Feeling guilty to let go of gifts from someone special
The purpose of your functional closet space is to house clothes that make you feel positive, happy and confident. The only items in the closet should be those that express who you are, not who someone else thinks you are or wants you to be. The gift belongs to you and no one else, so if it doesn’t suit you, let it go. Your image is a very personal expression that is closely linked to your self-esteem and confidence. Never allow anyone else’s vision for you compromise your own thoughts on what works best for you.
7. Frustration with giving up items you spent lots of money on
Spending a lot of money on an item doesn’t guarantee that it will work for you or stand the test of time. If it doesn’t align with your desired image or doesn’t fit properly it really is time to let it go. Holding on to it will only serve to deflate you as you think about the money wasted over the years. Release it and move on. These guilty purchases are not good for your self-esteem. You don’t need to be constantly reminded of your mistakes. It can be a negative drain that you just don’t need. The bright side is that your increased knowledge and awareness will help you to avoid making the same mistakes again and you’ll save money in the future! No more costly mistakes hanging in your closet. We all make mistakes, we are human. There are so many online resell platforms now to help recoup some of the cost, so it doesn’t all have to be a lost cause (The Revente; Poshmark; Vinted to name a few).
8. Feeling deprived when you don’t have a jam-packed closet
A full closet is not necessarily better than a half-filled closet. When fewer pieces are available, you will see and access your outfits with much greater ease. Having less to choose from will mean quicker decision making and much less stress when time is short. The very fact that you have removed the overwhelm, allows you to be more creative when building outfits. Having less isn’t about feeling like you’re missing out or sacrificing something. It’s about liberation, freedom, less stress – giving you more time, energy and space for all the stuff that truly does matter in your life!
9. Feeling dread about having to go shopping
You dislike shopping. That may well be, but remember that for the first time in your life, you are most likely going to have a whole new outlook on shopping. You will have a new approach, a more considered decision making process, a shopping intention list – these are all guiding principles that you’ve never had the luxury of utilizing before! You will have a much more discerning eye, so shopping doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out, tedious process. You’ll be able to weed out all the overwhelm and by-pass the clutter like never before. Believe me when I say the style clarity that we build together, will make shopping much more fun, exciting and sometimes even fateful….because when you see a piece, you will know instantly that it’s for you!
10. Fear of change
Most of us are averse to things that will change our habits, our routines, our sense of comfort. But think about it like this – you now have the power, you are taking back control from the closet that doesn’t serve you well. Your newly acquired knowledge and vision of your future self is helping to validate your decisions about what to to keep and what to ditch. You call the shots. View it as a major learning curve and a chance to change your shopping (and hoarding) habits for good. Trust yourself and trust the process.
Opening up your closet should be like arriving at a really good party, where everyone you see is someone you like
Amy Fine Collins
Your closet is the very centre-point of your dressing world, its contents tell your unique story and have a big effect on your daily life and emotions. Your desire to look thoughtfully presented should be joyful, exciting, creative and effortless. Make your closet work for you, not against you!
If you are interested in learning more about my Closet Clarity program, check it out here
Contact me directly if you wish to access a copy of my step-by-step guide: How to Declutter Your Closet